About Danny Loe, Founder of Safe At 65

I sat in the parking lot of the nursing home that Spring day, unable to get out of my car due to almost overwhelming stress. My 72-year old Dad's health had catastrophically failed in the previous two months, my large family was busy as usual, and I was going through a major business transition. It seemed I was caught in the perfect storm of a hectic lifestyle.

As his oldest son and caregiver, I felt the weight of Dad's failing health and the quality and quantity of time I had left with him. As his financial advisor and Power of Attorney, was I making making the best decisions on his behalf? I wondered whether I had gotten answers to all the important questions I needed to be asking (and fearing there were questions I didn't even know I was supposed to be asking). As a business owner with this new reality of Dad's illness and the impact of it on my responsibilities, how do I handle the significant transition I was facing? Finally, and one of the crucial questions because this new reality was my new normal: How can I effectively juggle all the competing and complementary roles I held at that moment: Father, Son, Grandfather, Sibling, Business Owner, Caregiver?

Underlying all of those confusing feelings, questions and self-doubts was a growing awareness of the two types of grief I was experiencing. The grief of powerlessly watching while the most independent man I had ever known became--literally in moments--one of the most dependent people I would ever know. And probably the deeper grief was the realization that one of my closest friends would never be the same, and the future plans we had would never come to fruition. We'd had a turbulent relationship for most of my life, but in the two years before he fell ill, we worked hard to mend it and make it something special because we realizied the opportunities we both had missed all those preceding years. We had made some big plans--driving the entire original trail of Route 66 from Chicago all the way to the Santa Monica Pier, and taking a trip to Sicily. 

That season of my life, which began with a time of crushing uncertainty, had a happy ending. Dad finished well, and our relationship grew even deeper and richer, so that when he passed away, we had no unresolved issues, and there was nothing left unsaid between us. We were both at peace when he died. He left me a legacy of no regrets because we were able to focus on what was really important.

Though I had been a financial advisor for almost 30 years when Dad fell ill, I wasn't prepared for the emotional weight of the responsibility of becoming his caregiver along with all my other responsibilities. Because of this experience, I have dedicated myself to helping Seniors and their families navigate these same issues and the overwhelming deluge of information to find clarity and answers that make sense for them. There's no cookie-cutter solutions because everyone--and their family dynamic--is different. It's my hope that in some way, I'm able to contribute to the possibility of families having a legacy of no regrets.